How Would You Like to Pay?

One thing I know I need when I start selling things is a merchant account but I'm worried I can't get one because I have super bad credit. I'm not sure how it all works or what the best ones are yet and I have a while but it's probably the one thing that worries me about starting my business. I know there's lots of companies that sell merchant account stuff and I should really start doing my homework about who uses what and what their experiences are. It might be good to have something to sell first though. LOL

Bad Lighting

The one thing I HAVE to get before I finish this redecorating project is new light fixtures. Since I darkened my closet my office lighting is really bad now and the room will end up being the same I think. I have this really funky chandelier thing now and not only is it ugly the light is really bad and the floor lamp I have serves a better purpose. I'd really like to get something like a Murray Feiss fixture or something similar. The design is way better looking and I know it couldn't produce a worse glare than what I have now. LOL Man I can't wait to finish already!

Mid-Life Crisis

I think I'm going through some form of this because I just don't seem to be satisfied with what I have anymore. I'm redoing the whole room and after that I want to redo our garden for spring. I look at all the things I've saved and want to throw them out but keep them at the same time. Memories of when I was younger and the feelings I felt then are coming to mind more often too. I'm even getting tired of DH and finding there's less and less that we have in common and the things he does aren't funny anymore but rather annoying and even irritating. I'm not really sure what to make of all this yet but I can only hope that by changing my surroundings I'll be able to avoid the bigger messes I might create and find more peace. That's all I really want, a harmonious way of living.

Estate Sales

One of my friends has a mom that LOVES going to yard and estate sales. She's almost like a modern day treasure hunter LOL. She went to one recently and stood in line before it opened only to find out that they had some loose diamonds I couldn't believe how lucky she was to find something like that there! Of course you have to know something about gems to know if it's worth buying them so she didn't come home with any because she didn't want to take the chance of coming out with junk. That's super cool though. I wish we had stuff like that out here but no one really has anything interesting when I go to those things. I have to remind myself to do that more often.

Cancer

I can't help but think that Mesothelioma lawyers must make a lot of money. The number of commercials seems to be growing and I would figure that there must be lots of people finding out that they have it or something. I guess since there's a larger number of people getting to that age range more and more illnesses will be coming up. It's sad really and kind of makes me scared to get old. Every now and then I wonder if I'll get a cancer despite everything I'm doing to prevent it now. That's happened to so many people as it is. I really wish there was something "we" could do to prevent or cure the cancers there are now.

Buying a Car

The one thing that I was really not smart about was not getting a license or a car when I was younger. It's weird but I think over all this time I've developed some type of slight phobia to driving because the whole thing ends up making me anxious. Some of my family isn't happy about it because they see it as a sign of weakness. They think that I'm not trying to be independent in any way, which of course isn't true and they don't know the half of it. I hate when people try to butt into things they know nothing about. So they would give me a hard time and my uncle's wife even had the nerve to tell me that I wasn't being a mother because I didn't drive. Can you believe that?! Boy did she get an earful! I was fuming and even now talking about it makes me warm. What they don't get is that right now we can't afford that kind of expense and they think I can go out and buy a $300 clunker and be okay. First of all I'd like to know where you can get one now a day. Second, how in the world is that safe for the kids? And third I can't afford even the cheapest car insurance right this second without causing a mess. I don't understand where they think that there's no added expense. We have some of the most expensive gas as it is, let alone everything else I'd have to pay. Ugh, people!

AHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm having a world of problems with DH right now. It's a REALLY long story but it boils down to him being him, taking care of him and pissing me off. It's not just during the day, all night he's rambling in his sleep talking about some crap and eventually waking No-No up. ANNOYING! I really don't know what his problem is but really, right now I couldn't care. He's been SO selfish and words i won't use that I wish he'd just leave so we could be normal. Yeah, I have told him that and everything else but does he care? NO. So I wish he'd go and do what he does best, worry about himself...some where else.